A Monster Forever
by iTrippedandfellforyou
Summary: How was Jacob feeling when he phased into a werewolf for the first time? This is his story. Oneshot. R&R.


**Hey. **

**This is a oneshot of what Jake was thinking when he first phased into a werewolf. The idea just came to me, and I love writing from Jake's P.O.V. Please R&R.**

**EDITED **

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"Call me!" Bella yelled as I cautiously drove away. The words sounded funny. _Her _saying them to _me. _A good kind of funny though. The kind that made me want more of the feeling of being loved.

As I drove the Rabbit down the dark highway, I replayed tonight's events in my head. I had gone on a "date" with Bella Swan. She might not have thought of it as a date, but I sure did. Too bad that wiener, Mike, had to ruin it. The night would have been completely perfect if it wasn't for him. But still, I had gone to the movies with Bella.

Even the weird feeling that I had in the pit of my stomach couldn't crush my hopeful feelings. Bella liked me best, she had said so. That's all that matters. _For now. _I could take it slow. She had feelings for me. She just didn't realize that those feelings were love.

After only fifteen minutes, I made it to my house. The Rabbit was working great. It had made it to Forks, Port Angeles, and back without blowing up. _That was all I could ask for._

The drive didn't take very long, but I was in a rush to get inside to call Bella. I wanted to hear her voice one more time before I went to bed. _Corny, _I knew, but still. Besides, she had asked me to call as soon as I got home. It wasn't fair to keep her waiting. Unless…well, I didn't want to sound too eager. Maybe I would wait a few minutes before calling.

I still couldn't shake that weird feeling though. It was getting stronger now. Like a bomb getting ready to explode. _It was pretty unnerving._

I quickly cut off the power to the Rabbit, and jumped out of the seat. It was hot and stuffy in the car, and the cold, fresh air helped me think. As I walked up the porch steps, the weird feeling grew a bit. It was making me mad. I didn't want to get sick. Especially from Mike Newton.

I turned the front doorknob, and quietly walked inside, just in case dad was already asleep. _He wasn't_. He was waiting for me, sitting in his chair strumming his finger on the armrest impatiently. It would have been funny, if I hadn't already felt so weird. Off balance, that was how I felt.

"How was your date?" my dad asked suggestively. He knew how much I liked Bella, and his dream was that his son and his best friend's daughter would fall in love, get married, live happily ever after, and blah blah blah. Of course, that wouldn't be so bad…

"It wasn't a date," I said curtly. My happy mood was slowly dying. All I wanted to do was get to the phone and call Bella. "I'm going to use the phone." I maneuvered around dad's chair to get towards the kitchen. Awkward conversations were something I avoided, and this would no doubt turn into one if I didn't leave.

"Who are you going to call?" dad asked, already knowing the answer. _Why was he being so nosy?_ It was like he was _trying_ to set my temper off. Like he was trying to get me mad for some reason.

It was working. My happy feeling was being replaced with annoyance towards him.

"Bella," I answered reluctantly. I loved the sound of her name when I said it. It sounded different not like everything else. Dad laughed, obviously amused that I was so desperate to use the phone. I glared at him, pissed off that he was being so rude.

He cocked his head at me, staring. It made me self-conscious for a minute. The room felt too small. "Are you okay, Jacob? You look kind of weird," Dad stated, he was still laughing at me.

_That did it!_ That set off my temper. Just the simple words, _you look weird. _I had just had the best night of my life, and now my dad was ruining it. He had the nerve to tell me I looked weird. It wasn't like I didn't feel weird, I just didn't want him to say it.

My hands starting shaking. Like my anger was making me vibrate. Then it spread from my hands to my back. Like my anger was a spreading virus. I felt hot. _Way hot. _It was a horrible feeling. The room went blurry. I couldn't even see my dad clearly. I felt like I was falling apart. Wild tremors rocked through my body. Then, when I thought the seizure was over, I exploded.

I had died. That was the only explanation I could think of. All the emotional stress I had been through with Sam Uley's stupid cult had finally given me a heart attack. I was glad. Now I didn't have to worry about him anymore.

_Finally, Jacob, I've been waiting for you to change._ A voice spoke in my head. Oh my god… I was freaking crazy. The weird seizure thing had damaged my brain, and now I was insane.

_You're not crazy. It's me, Embry. _The voice spoke again. I growled. Literally growled. Cautiously, I looked at my body. Every inch of my skin was covered in russet colored fur! Actually fur, not like a fur coat. My skin _was _fur.

I tilted my head up to look at my dad. I was scared stiff right now. _What had happened to me?!_

_Don't worry, Jake. I'll explain everything. _Embry's voice spoke again. I looked for him around the room, but he wasn't in there. He was talking to me _inside my head. _

My dad was staring right back at me, smiling. Apparently, he was happy for whatever bad, crazy, unnatural thing had happened to me. I tried to talk to him, but all that came out of my mouth was a howling noise.

"Don't worry, Jacob. Sam will explain everything," my dad tried to comfort me. What did Sam Uley have to do with anything?

_Sam's our leader. He's the alpha. _Embry's voice came back explaining to me.

_Alpha?_ The alpha of what? Oh no! This was just a stupid haze to get me to join the cult. They were taking this too far. It needed to stop.

I crept towards the front door. I tried to turn the doorknob, but it wouldn't work. It just got scratched up. I looked down at my hand… It wasn't my hand, it was a paw! A freaking wolf paw, attached to my wolf body. Everything just kept getting weirder. I had to get out of there somehow so I rammed the door down. I didn't care if my dad had to replace it. _I just needed to get out of that mad house. _It was easier to break the door than I thought it would be. The wood smashed right off the hinges.

I burst out into the yard, taking in as much fresh air as I could. I practically bumped into the black mass lying on the grass. For a second, I was stunned in horror. It was no ordinary wolf, it was huge. As big as a horse! But it didn't look dangerous. Something in its eyes told me that this was not just a wolf.

I slowly laid down next to it. It seemed to understand my caution, and it nodded its head for me to come forward.

_Don't worry, Jacob. It's me, Embry._

_Embry?_ The wolf hadn't spoken, but I could tell sound was coming from it. But Embry's not a wolf? That makes no sense.

_Yes I am. You are too, Jacob. _Embry's voice spoke in my head. _We all are. Sam, Paul, Jared, me, and now you too._

What was he talking about? I wasn't part of Sam's gang. Don't tell me he's talking about the stupid legends about the Quileutes turning into werewolves. I knew that those legends were just a load of crap.

_They're true. All the legends are true. And it's not a gang. We're a pack. We are all werewolves, Jacob. You are too now._

Staring into his dark eyes, all I saw was truth.

Realization hit me hard and cold. I had become a werewolf, a monster. If all the legends were true, then the 'cold ones' were real too. _Bella had dated a bloodsucker_. I was a monster now too, like the one that had left Bella.

There had to be some way to reverse it. I didn't want to be a werewolf. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to be human with Bella. There had to be a way…

_You can't change it, Jake. You're in this for life. Maybe even longer._

I wouldn't be able to change back. I would be a monster forever…

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Hope you like it! Please review! Reviews are like cake; they make me happy!


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